Rediscovering the power of being human.

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It's interesting to look at wikipedia's page on egoism where it lists what the term may specifically refer to. The first is about "egotism" itself and is defined rather negatively as "an excessive or exaggerated sense of self-importance". Yet all of the others seem to imply something positive or neutral; ethical, psychological and rational egoism as well as solipsism and egoist anarchism.

Just looking at that shortlist with quick definitions seems to imply that many people might have a kind of ambivalent relationship with ego and egoism. The basic assumption seems to be negative about it, but then there are those of us who try to find a positive niche for it because quite frankly, we can't really get rid of our ego entirely.

And how could we? Ego seems to be a synonym for the "self" and how can you live without your self? It is you! Even when you are trying to be as altruistic and selfless as you can possibly be it is still your self that acts in such a way and that makes those choices. Most importantly, these altruistic and selfless values are your values, the values of your self. To whom else could they belong?

In a sense even when trying to act selflessly we are acting selfishly because we are pursuing our own values. We help others because we value helping others. We wouldn't otherwise do it. Almost paradoxically we even sometimes "sacrifice" our self for somebody else, yet it is the values of our self that we are pursuing when acting in such a way. It just happens that the self in such instances believes somebody else to be more important.

But that's why it's so seemingly paradoxical. Without values to pursue your self is pretty meaningless. It's practically as good as dead. It is those values which define who you are. So if "who you are" tells you that somebody is more important to you then you, this importance of somebody else becomes a part of who you are, a part of your self. Therefore, it isn't really self-sacrifice, it is just an extension of your self.

This is why I say "almost" and "seemingly" paradoxical, because when we explore this seeming paradox further we can realize that there is no contradiction. The self is merely extended to include somebody else. Even if you're willing to die for someone, it's like absorbing a kind of suicidal mentality, except this kind of suicidal mentality isn't as frowned upon by society as some others. It is in fact often celebrated.

Dangerous terminology: sacrifice of the self

If there is anything that is paradoxical it is the terminology and the concept it describes. Self-sacrifice, if we should take it literally, translates to self-contradiction and ultimately self-destruction. If you act within your values yet you still think you are acting against them, you're contradicting yourself. The result is quite dangerous. You might genuinely be trying to act against your values and submitting yourself into servitude to others even when you don't actually value those other people so much.

You end up being a slave to anyone who succeeds in making you think that you have an obligation, that you must be good to them, serve them, think first of their needs and desires solely because you are obliged, not because you value them. In other words, you end up lying to yourself and even lying to others, including those you are serving and helping, by making them think that you're doing it because you value them.

How many times have you said "I love you" to someone solely because they expect you to tell them so, because you feel obliged, rather than because you truly love them? How many times have you did something for someone solely because you are afraid what others might think if you don't, not because you really want to do it, because you value the person you're doing it for?

Many people's relationships thus end up being based on a lie, and society as a whole reflects individuals that are a part of it. Relationships individuals have with each other end up forming a society you are living in. A society based on the notion of "self sacrifice" interpreted as a true self-contradiction rather than incorporating somebody else into a system of genuine values, ends up to a large extent being a society of mutual servitude.

The solution is to be genuine and honest to everybody around you, to recognize that your ego is not something to feel guilty about, but as something that allows you to be who you are, to live the truth about yourself, not a lie.

Accepting your ego, however, does not mean becoming absolutely careless about other people. It is extremely doubtful that you will never care about anyone genuinely. If that was true you would never feel loneliness or a yearning for company. It only means that you stop lying to yourself about caring for someone you really do not. It means pursuing values that are truly your own.

Enlightened egoism: just be honest!

If anyone asks to which view of egoism does the above fit into from that wikipedia page I would say psychological egoism, but I would also add that I don't necessarily see it as in contradiction to rational egoism and ethical egoism. In a contrary I think they are complementary. So long as we realize that ego is not something to be rejected, because such rejection is essentially impossible since you cannot be who you are without your self, these philosophies start making sense.

Ultimately, they lead to a kind of reciprocity because once you realize you have an ego that shouldn't be tramped on, you also know others have too. Rather than striving to tread on other people for your own interests the same way you realize you have a moral right to your own self interest you realize others have a right to theirs.

And if you should anyhow conclude otherwise, you would again be in a self-contradiction. On what basis can you conclude that others who have the same kind of ego you do cannot have the same right to self interest as you do, if not on the basis of a lie? You know that other people are individuals, just like you and you know then that they too have an ego. Denying that is a lie and lies are self-contradictions, contradictions of your self and indeed your ego; "ego-contradictions" if you will.

Only consistently honest people have a true ego, others are just lying to themselves. Acceptance of your ego is about being honest to yourself. And that's what enlightened egoism is about.

Image by Hatta Affendy.